I came across a news article in the morning; a very popular celebrity couple announced that they are separating. It is a 10 year long marriage which they are about to break. The couple said in a joint statement that they were to “consciously uncouple”.
Is it a new terminology or an awakened new age? Does that sound like break up? Is it a nicer way of saying that we mutually consent into divorce? Well, all that is debatable. In whichever way it may come or whatever you call it, one can agree to that fact that it is ‘separation’ and ‘separations are painful’.
I hope ‘conscious uncoupling’ does not become another murmur word and gets misinterpreted further on from here. Now that the word has appeared in all glam glitz news walls, I fear that.
I wouldn’t call it another word for divorce or break up. According to me, it’s a concept or a pact between two individuals. When two individuals in a relationship see themselves as non meeting parallel lines, it is best for them that they move out and probably move on. It is that stage in a relationship when you make a conscious decision that you and your partner can be on their own, being still completely in love with each other but yet separate; uncoupled. This helps them still share mutual respect for each other, or sometimes get back.
This is not true for marriages alone. Let’s accept that genuine connections with another individual can develop anytime in our lives. Some progress to friendship, some deeper than that. You may call them affairs or flings in a more casual way, but if they are based on connections between souls it is delightful and those involved are a couple. Obviously then, there is conscious coupling and conscious uncoupling.
There can be cases where this realization comes into one of the two and he/she initiates the communication with other. The other may not be in a position to reciprocate with equal consciousness. The probable reasons for the other to not rise to that level of realization may be extreme dependence, fear of loss or diffidence. Blame, hurt, debate, will be all a part of this process because separations are heartbreaking and nerve wrecking; but, a little time and self talk makes you realize that separation can bring much more control in a relationship and help retain love and respect which otherwise could have been ruined and left scars.
Let me tell you this, if conscious uncoupling is made catalyst to turn the emotional pain into something constructive then that is the best thing one can do for themselves. I want to specifically mention this to all my likes out there, as most of the times the ‘other’ is the ‘woman’. Again, this is no blame dear man, just an observation. There are many reasons to it which I would want to bring in here. That’s a scope for another blog, just on that topic.
So woman, if you have lately undergone separation or have been shown the path of conscious uncoupling you must use your pain to create or explore something totally new about yourself. You will be glad you did. You may also regain respect and love for your ex-connect.