The lesser felt Gain

I wonder if this is the truth of life… I have noticed that the feeling of loss is more ‘felt’ than the feeling of gain. As in, whenever we gain something in life, may it be a new job, or excellent grades, a new house or even a new relationship, it doesn’t alarm us. Gains usually sink in. It just sinks into us and we take it as a part of our lives, something which was meant to be. One never really feels it the way it needs to be felt. Some don’t want to, they fear celebrating gain may make them loose it to soon or bring in a bad omen. People just don’t feel gain with all the happiness and joy that it commands; they think they deserved it, always.

At the same time, loss is alarming, usually a shock, unexpected mostly. It slaps you on your face and your entire being goes resisting it. They are harsh and more painful.  What can be accounted as loss? Losing a job, not making it to an interview after three successful rounds, missing a flight, a sudden death of someone close, a break up mail…You think about it, rebel, and spin a story of how it’s all wrong and such a thing cannot happen to you. In fact, losses remain in your memory engraved much deeper than gains.

This natural human conduct stems from the eternal desire for self preservation. Self preservation somewhere has to do with a certain amount of selfishness. We like to think that a little more for me will do no harm. All that I have got and will get is what I deserve, and I do not deserve loosing anything.

Inherent selfishness you may call it; human beings seek only to satisfy their own needs, motivated solely by personal interest. In economics, this mental model even has a name, it‘s called homo economicus–that defines man as a being whose production and consumption is motivated entirely by his own material gain. This was the basis for the theory of ‘rational choice’, which affirms that ‘rational’ people will always choose what benefits them, even at the expense of others. However, what makes this choice seem natural to some cultures is not its rationality, but rather the fact that the process of acculturation and socialization from early childhood makes this their first reaction. People raised in other cultures will not necessarily have the same inclination.

Again, loss pinches you only when we lose something which we so dearly were hanging on to. No one would be shocked or alarmed loosing something they always wanted to get rid of. One will be rather happy, getting rid of it/ them naturally. That is gain in fact; gain of so called peace. Self preservation again…

Going a bit deeper… The human race boasts of cooperation and altruism. Even those in its real sense are ‘Selfish’. Ponder on that!

Behind the Mirror

Sometimes when your mind is itching to write and you really don’t know what to write on, it’s good to look for an inspiration around. Bless you Ben Huberman, the Daily post guy… a random wandering over my inbox lead to your prompt for today, ‘Mind Reader’.

Prompt – Who’s the last person you saw before reading this prompt? Whether it’s a family member, a coworker, or a total stranger, write a post about what that person is thinking right now…?

Well, I looked at myself in the mirror.

What was I thinking about? I was thinking about someone.

So, if I am allowed to tweak the prompt a little, I would rather ask this… Whom does one think about the most, especially when one’s mind is idle? Isn’t it obvious now that I was idling around before I read the prompt and I was definitely thinking about someone. Evidently enough, I might be thinking about that person quite often.

So, who does one think about most of the times?

The answer is quite simple.

It’s either the one you are completely in love with. You love this person and when you think of him/her a quiet smile lights up your being. It could be an obsession, an infatuation, a crush, some you totally adore, your eternal admiration, someone awesome who makes you feel so good. It could be empathy, sympathy, cuddly, filial, maternal, paternal, brotherly, sisterly, friendly, and all those tender feeling and connections built on the base of love.

Or it’s that person you hate or wish to forget and have no answers from. It could be anybody. Your rude boss who wouldn’t explain why he is cross with you all the time? Or your ex love who dumped you and disappeared or may be your sister who wouldn’t talk to you after a silly fight. Don’t you feel those lines on your forehead when you think of this person? Sometimes, there is pain when you think of this person. Yeah, there is a question too ‘why’… why is it so between me and him/her? I am assuming we unconsciously ask this to ourselves because at our core being we look for reconciliation. We look for answers. We look for peace. We look for love.

Now that brings me to the question… whom was I thinking about? Yeah, I know whom was I thinking about. That person is real; somewhere between my shadow and the soul.