The lesser felt Gain

I wonder if this is the truth of life… I have noticed that the feeling of loss is more ‘felt’ than the feeling of gain. As in, whenever we gain something in life, may it be a new job, or excellent grades, a new house or even a new relationship, it doesn’t alarm us. Gains usually sink in. It just sinks into us and we take it as a part of our lives, something which was meant to be. One never really feels it the way it needs to be felt. Some don’t want to, they fear celebrating gain may make them loose it to soon or bring in a bad omen. People just don’t feel gain with all the happiness and joy that it commands; they think they deserved it, always.

At the same time, loss is alarming, usually a shock, unexpected mostly. It slaps you on your face and your entire being goes resisting it. They are harsh and more painful.  What can be accounted as loss? Losing a job, not making it to an interview after three successful rounds, missing a flight, a sudden death of someone close, a break up mail…You think about it, rebel, and spin a story of how it’s all wrong and such a thing cannot happen to you. In fact, losses remain in your memory engraved much deeper than gains.

This natural human conduct stems from the eternal desire for self preservation. Self preservation somewhere has to do with a certain amount of selfishness. We like to think that a little more for me will do no harm. All that I have got and will get is what I deserve, and I do not deserve loosing anything.

Inherent selfishness you may call it; human beings seek only to satisfy their own needs, motivated solely by personal interest. In economics, this mental model even has a name, it‘s called homo economicus–that defines man as a being whose production and consumption is motivated entirely by his own material gain. This was the basis for the theory of ‘rational choice’, which affirms that ‘rational’ people will always choose what benefits them, even at the expense of others. However, what makes this choice seem natural to some cultures is not its rationality, but rather the fact that the process of acculturation and socialization from early childhood makes this their first reaction. People raised in other cultures will not necessarily have the same inclination.

Again, loss pinches you only when we lose something which we so dearly were hanging on to. No one would be shocked or alarmed loosing something they always wanted to get rid of. One will be rather happy, getting rid of it/ them naturally. That is gain in fact; gain of so called peace. Self preservation again…

Going a bit deeper… The human race boasts of cooperation and altruism. Even those in its real sense are ‘Selfish’. Ponder on that!

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Forget contain, I can’t even take it!

Her monologue..

The only earthly feeling I cannot contain in myself in the feeling of being REJECTED. Forget contain, I can’t even take it!

If I were to associate adjectives to myself, I would choose a plentiful. Before I list them, let me tell you that these are not words chosen by me; these are what I have heard about myself from people who were/ are associated with me in some way or other. Yes, I believe them to be true.

So here it goes… I am a charming, attractive, sexy, beautiful woman. I am considerate, friendly, loving, generous, compassionate, affectionate, romantic, reliable, resourceful, non-judging, thoughtful, empathetic, diligent, hardworking, confident, honest but diplomatic at times, fair-minded, adaptable, amicable kind. I am also imaginative and creative. How can I forget, I love making good conversation. I can get people talking and am a great listener. I am very nice person to be with!

Now, how can you reject such a nice person? Has that happened to me? Yes, it has. I have been rejected at times. I am not discussing rejection in an interview (Well, even that has happened to me just once out of five interviews I ever gave in my life). Such rejection does not bother me. I can very well take it and contain it. Rejections from people you connect with at a heart level, those are bad. Really bad…Though, extremely popular among friends and associates, I have been rejected… a few odd times. I keep wondering what could have gone wrong.  It drives me crazy when I don’t find enough reasons… or don’t get a genuine response as an explanation for being rejected.

Was it overdoes of niceness?

How can somebody reject and nice person? (Pun intended)

After the madness has settled, her wickedness takes over!!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/unsafe-containers/

Snap Tale

Alright then, the prompt is ‘Open the first photo album you can find — real or virtual, your call — and stop at the first picture of yourself you see there. Tell us the story of that photo.’

So, to be all honest I had to close my eyes and do an “inky pinky ponky” in the phone gallery and I bumped into this snap.

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This was in Malayasia and the ladies in the snap were my team-mates from the last Company I used for work for, back in India. As you see, we got clicked while getting ready for the real click. It was a trip I forced myself into. I was… I guess, the last one to get the Visa cleared among the team of 30 who went for the trip.

The trip was essentially organized for the annual award winners. My team and I used to organize the award ceremony and all that supplemented it. As a part of the process, it was necessary for a few HR team members to accompany the winners. The interesting thing was, that time around, mostly all of us in HR made it to the trip because of last minute cancellations by actual winners. In order to not let go of the ticket slots wasted, we fitted in, a clever wicked idea by our travel coordinator. She knew we deserved that break for all the slogging we underwent to get that award event up and running. We used to call it ‘Retail Oscars’, I guess it’s still called so.

Good bargain, the trip was when I look back though at that time I was quite unsure of joining the team. I used to be a crazy employee and usually took too much on my plate and suffer later from work indigestion. An employee any manager would dream of having. A little drama and I would get stuck and make decisions which will be in favor of the organization at the cost of my time and health sometimes. However, joining that trip was just for me. I knew it was the last time I would get a chance of catching up with my team mates at a personal level. I had worked very closely with each one of them form the time the team was formed. We were called the Retail HR team, a part of Corporate but catering solely to the Retail wing. Things were going to change soon. A couple of them and me were moving to new teams.

Now when I look back, I am seriously happy about deciding to go for that Malaysian escapade. We had a good time, though we missed one of our team-mates throughout, a lovely lady who couldn’t make it because some odd Visa issues. But for that, it was a time memorable.

The entire episode taught me something too… at times you need to think about yourself first:)

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/snapshot-stories/