The True Love Bull!

This time for a change, I don’t want to set the context. I am going to dive right into the essence of this article. One of the most hyped up and cashed concept ever in world is “TRUE LOVE”. Specifically speaking, the ‘ONE ONLY TRUE LOVE’ concept! Certainly, the most exploited and overrated concept. Just put the formula in any movie, book or a lame story and I bet it will sell and sell well because we humans by nature live in the world of idealistic…the perfect. The reality: Perfect does not exist!

Let’s take examples; Romeo and Juliet, Cleopatra and Mark Antony, Lancelot and Guinevere, Tristan and Isolde, Paris and Helena, Layla and Majnun and many many more. Most of them are famous love stories in history/literature and are certainly immortal. If one reads these love stories it will certainly renew and reinforce their faith in love…but remember they are mere stories and honestly no one knows what happened after “happily ever after”.

The reality ‘True Love’ does not exist. However, love does. In fact, love is one of the best feelings a human can ever experience. The feeling of love usually oversees logic of otherwise fairly reasonable mind. It is a very strong emotion which can infuse into the mind and body with equal strength. One feels at his or her best. You would see your lover with imperfections but the feeling of love can overcome those imperfections as you will have ability to see then wholeheartedly. In fact, love can happen virtually anytime between two or more people who connect over shared and common emotion; but certainly, the precondition is true mental and emotional connection with another. Research proves that love is something that naturally lasts somewhere between 18 months to a stretched max of three years. The best part; the more you are exposed to each other faster the ‘love’ actually fades off.

If you notice there is no clear foundation to true love. It’s a story. Story people build for themselves to escape from their mediocre lives of lies, unfulfilled dreams and harsh realities. True love became the tranquilizers to their pains. Much obviously, this started with the era of literature. Specifically, the Romantic Era (Romanticism) which originated in Europe towards the end of the 18th century. Those who could write, wrote for the rich. The rich in turn propagated these tales and managed to turn their own stories into legends of love and romance. They filled them with all things nice and ideal. The fact, no king married just a woman. They often married a couple of them and would have has many of them. We don’t about Queens; well I think the smart ones would have had a couple of good ministers from the royalty. Roman, Greek or Indian, no matter which civilization you consider, you’ll see that marriages were mostly for social benefit. Marriages were done to join kingdoms, unite tribes and to appease those in power never, to proclaim true love… Even if so, I am sure there was a second or even a third love later in their lifetime which went unsaid.

Does that mean that there is no love in marriages? Your spouse is not your true love? Is that just some social bullshit…? Well, debatable.

I think what keeps people ‘happily’ married is not “true love” it’s an overall feeling of  security, love, respect for spouse, children, children s future, responsibility, family commitment, social and religious structure. (Note: This question is deliberately inserted in here as I am a married woman and would clearly want to put assumptions to rest)

Well, my idea is not to start a debate on love and marriage, that’s a different and a much bigger topic. All I want to say through this piece of article is how we have conveniently let ourselves get into to a delight mode reading a love story, believing it and wowing at one true love, which in real world doesn’t exist.  

I think this would have been a great suggestion a long back 🙂
A newbie to daily prompt.
http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/powerful-suggestion/

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Wine and Women

What is it with women and wine? I do not really know of the statistics but have noticed that generally women are okay to drink wine and may say a blunt no to beer and other hard drinks.

I was discussing with a new-found guy friend of mine and he gave me an interesting outlook to the practice. In his words, “Well I guess it’s because that’s the only drink that women don’t get guilty with”. Now I think that’s some truth there.

I shall park that thought and explain later. A more straightforward reason of women choosing wine over other drinks may be the taste. Beer is obviously bitterer and is less appealing to most of the women folk. At least in my case that’s the 80% of the reason. In a nice way, wine may mean different things to different women. It makes me feel classy, beautiful and health conscious. It’s good for skin and has antioxidants, so it’s like a twin gain for me. I get high and I get my dose of antioxidants, which is so needed for a 30 something me. That obviously doesn’t keep me away from occasionally trying and sipping other spirits. However, I will not deny that I do suffer a 20% of what he said.

Moving to the no-guilt-wine part… Now, the world I come from, women do want to drink or rather get high with a drink but this whole thing of social image, opinion building and culture keeps them away from beer and other spirits. This I am saying not out of assumption, I know of many who have confessed this truth to me. “I love getting high with some alcohol, but if I were to gulp in that whiskey, what would people think of me?”

So, in this party I go to, I see men with bottles of beer and women with lovely red wine glasses, happily drinking away. Now, the fun part is that most beer is 4-7% alcohol by volume and wine is 12 -15% up till 21% in fortified wines. So the fact is; those lovely wine drinking women are consuming more alcohol per ounce. So, what the hell is this social thing? Women…drink… ah!

Now the max they think they can move to is Vodka or Gin; but again a woman kicking back glasses of vodka or gin on the rocks every get together does send signals, doing so with wine looks more harmless and is unquestionably more socially acceptable. Isn’t that some hypocrite world out there? You and me in it!

Cycle of Love

Cycle of love… it does terminate in expectations. Well, expectations are inevitable…some end well, some sad.

Again, what I am expressing here is merely my thought. You may agree or disagree.

This time around the love I am talking about is not between a guy and a girl. Isn’t that the first thing which comes to our mind when we say ‘love’?

This love which I am speaking about, is in its actual sense is our ‘first love’. It’s love towards our parents. Every girl’s first hero is her dad; every boy’s first lady love is his mum. If not for all the time, but surely for some time… This you and I can’t deny! So read on…

We get married and some have children, make families… bring up kids with loads of love and care. The feeling of parenthood is a heavenly experience. I am sure all the parents out there will agree. The weaning baby and then a toddler; their expressions, hugs, kisses, play, questions, frown, cry… everything is just so wonderful!

Now some questions and their answers…

Who experiences these pleasures of parenthood…?

We, the parents…

 

Who has all their senses very well developed to experience this feeling…?

We, again…

 

Who cherishes these moments…?

We, who else!

 

Are we doing a favor to our children by bringing them up by giving them the best…?

Obviously not, no-one asked us to… it’s our choice!

 

Do you love your child selflessly…?

Oh yeah! Any doubts…? My child! after all…

 

Having children, loving them and bringing them up, is the most self-pampering act a human being does. In fact, seeing a child in his or her own image is a selfish feeling. We take pride in them. Isn’t it? Accept it.

So, we as parents do everything to make sure that our children have the best childhood they can and while doing so something gets accounted in our emotional banks. We while debiting love, credit expectations into our accounts! We expect returns when our little children become able adults. All kinds of expectations… and there it goes, root cause to all the problems of parents ‘expecting’ and adult children ‘not fulfilling’.

Now it that right or wrong? Well nothing is right or wrong. It’s just the way we are. We love and we expect.

They say that all that what our parents were to us we realize when we have our kids. Sleepless nights, tiring days, feeding race, answering questions, admission queues… how can one not repay?

So, even if the parents expect or not, we must be obliged!

If weren’t obliged as children… then we better not expect as parents! It’s after all a CYCLE!

Well, I guess as parents the best we can do is to bring up your children in your love… imbibe sense of duty in them. Sow love and you will get that in return.

As children try you best to repay the love you received from your parents through making sure that you have a sense of duty towards them and you love them. Remember, you owe them big time. Your very identity, “your name” is after all their idea 🙂

 It’s just a cycle of love!

Yours, was the last nail on her coffin!

The spring was over
Flowers dried, leaves had fallen;
It ended all of a sudden!

Yours, was the last nail on her coffin!

Her coffin was dark,
Hushed cobwebs,
Shades of deep grey and dense black,
Contented in that
she slept still, in warmth.

He came like a breeze
Uttered magical words,
Fine graceful words,
Vanquisher, your assuring words,
Those soulful words, those amusing words,
You woke her up, only to breathe her last.

She peeped through her coffin,
Oh, isn’t he from my past?
Why is he so familiar?
What is this enchant?

I am your pal,
We need no wall,
Take my hand,
I will not let you fall.
Tell me your secrets,
Your dreams and desire,
I am here for you,
I am here to last.

Hesitant but hopeful,
she stepped out dawdling.
Here I go again, relying
On a stranger so boastful.

Outside the coffin, it was bliss,
The talk, the walk, what fun they had.
Magical magical days of illusion,
the eyes, the love, the kiss, the passion.
She wished, she wished for it to last.
Spring could be so wonderful,
Never seen it like that.

The night went by,
She yet twisted in his arms,
Glanced at him, still in trance.
But why is his skin changing color?
Why is it like the one she remembers?
Deep grey and shade of black!

Why is this grin?
Why is this laugh?
Why are his eyes so cold?
Why is it all just like the past?
Why is ice forming so fast?

Pushed away, and this time too hard
Slammed into coffin
With a broken heart
Cold she laid there
In deep grey and dense black

The spring was over
Flowers had dried, leaves fallen
It ended all of a sudden

Yours, was the last nail on her coffin!
Yours, was the last nail on her coffin!

Dedicating this to April, the National Poetry Writing Month! 

In response to http://dailypost.wordpress.com/?dp_writing_challenge=poetry 

 

Chapters

“Which stage is the best in life”, I was asked
“The stage I am in” was my reply
Is your answer same as mine?

Well the secret is,
Whichever phase might your life may lie…
Cherish it for it may fly.
The things you do to craft that chapter,
Will that all be left, which finally matters.

A child finds joy in his newfound toy,
Teenager the same in fancying the girl next by,
A newlywed in his partner’s eye,
and a father in his baby girls smile,
Their kids settled gives content to aged parents like mine,
Prayer beads give peace to those in their last mile…
Description of happiness keeps changing
as life slowly counts its side.

Every chapter has its own charm,
So weave it with love, passion and joy
To cherish,
when you gaze at the one which was round the corner
and the one which just passed by.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/poetry/

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An ode to two I love, eternally

I am not a great writer. I just try to express my thoughts through words. In fact, trying to make it better each day… I am thankful to the magical world of words which helps me get those emotions out. This one I had penned on 7th of May, 2011. Splurge of emotions, I must say.

16th Jan 2011, a day I remember with sorrow and gloom. The day when my parents were said a goodbye to, by someone very close. Sometimes immaturity needs to be dealt with shrewdness. One may call it manipulation but it’s necessary when the subject is unable to make rational decisions. My parents never knew this tactic. They were too genuine and they had to pay for it. Well, I guess it was to happen so it happened. Often after things settle down, one sits back and reflects that’s when this ode got penned.

So here it goes…an ode to two I love eternally…

They say mind can travel faster than sound;
Oh yes! my fanatical mind keeps wandering to the past,
Where all my childhood memories amassed 
They lay their eternal and fast…

Undisturbed, coz nothing can change them
Present flicker minded affairs leaves me aghast….

I remember we cuddling in our mum’s arms
The bouquet she made me with wild flowers and branches
The piping hot dal in chili winter nights,
The room where we spend the most of our lives;
My bro was then my best friend,
We promised we will care through thick and thin;
A unit we were, a team together,
Our little family! Mum, Pa, me and my brother, 
Never anticipated such rough weather… 

New times have taken us apart,
Some were decisions, some mere pass.

We grew in age and wise,
Future was looking bright and nice!
Necessities were many,
They gained importance one after the other.
Well, all were met with, at the cost of their comfort 
but after all what are mum and pa otherwise meant for!
I sit back and see how we take for granted
Ties which are the deepest and wanted…

Distances have now torn us apart!
Those cemented ties just lie in our hearts,
Days, weeks, months go by,
No texts, no calls, no mails, not even a Hi!
My heart pains when I think of those two souls,
We were the only two who made them whole
Our new ties and definitions have changed us,
but where do they go, their world revolved around us!

A unit we were, a team together,
Our little family! Mum, Pa, me and my brother, 
never anticipated such rough weather… 

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_writing_challenge/poetry/

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/modern-families/

© Moriaus and An ode to two I love,eternally, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Moriaus and Equal but Different with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

My romanticism of connection!

I have been thinking to write about my experience with this breathtaking movie series which I watched, since last evening. Usually if I read, watch or experience a certain situation and if it gives me an emotional high the only way I can regain my peace is by writing it away.

The last four months, I have been fervently watching movies, one after the other. Firstly, it was one of the things I did to fill in all the free time I get in a constructive way. Moving to Perth and job hunting scenario has given me a lot of time just for myself. Secondly, it was to catch up all those lovely movies that I had missed over there 8 to 9 years. I was a movie addict, in a nice way, before marriage. But you know how things change when you get into the race of having a family and making a living.

Well, those are reasons of how my movie marathon began post the relocation. Coming back to the trilogy, it was by complete accident that I bumped into reading the reviews of this one called ‘Before Midnight’. It was mentioned there that this movie is a sequel to ‘Before Sunset’. I knew it would make sense for me to watch it after I watch ‘Before Sunrise’, which is the first one in series and ‘Before Sunset’ being the second. I admit that I get a big high through a good conversation, watching this trilogy was unexplainably satisfying.

The story progress from film to film, conversation changes along with phases of life… ‘Before Sunrise’ is based on this amazing new conversation and relationship between this 23 odd boy and girl in the hours that they have with each other before sunrise. Beautiful, young, engaging and real conversations, just conversation… I am certainly not giving away the plot. The sequel ‘Before Sunset’ filmed with the same actors, some 9 years later in 2004. Both are a bit older and naturally wiser, a 32 odd something but as they rightly point out in one of their conversation, the core never changes. I could see the character still the same as what I had seen them of in the prequel. Just that they had gained more wisdom through their experiences. Man and woman now, yet having the subtle emotions and whole feeling of attraction rekindled. The last part ‘Before Midnight’ was further realistic, in fact much sharper and darker.  The characters are married and have kids. The conversations are much matured yet witty. There is a certain amount of regret, hidden aspirations and insecurities yet there is undying love for one another. The best part is that they still speak with each other like they had met yesterday

I am totally blown out. This is my idealistic romance situation, I must say. Conversations which moved over time and space… a certain connection which in this case worked out into a marriage… I watched them one after the other…could not stop. Yeah, I am eternally thankful to the all powerful and all encompassed Google for having let me see them one after the other. If I had to wait for the time gaps in real, it would have played with my head.

Sharing a few excerpts of conversation between Celine and Jesse… 🙂

Before Sunrise
Celine: Isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?
Jesse: People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, giving thing, but if you think about it, there’s nothing more selfish.

Before Sunset
Celine: Memory is a wonderful thing if you don’t have to deal with the past.
Jesse: Life’s hard. It’s supposed to be. If we didn’t suffer, we’d never learn anything.

Before Midnight
Celine: Women explore for eternity in the vast garden of sacrifice.
Jesse: You remember that guy who loved you and you had that great romance with? It’s me.

Now some facts…

I did mention Google right. Well, a naturally curious me knocked Google doors again to find out if the couple was real. I knew that Richard Linklater, the writer and director of the movie, conceived it out of his own life incident. A little more researching led to a rather sad reality. I came through this article called ‘The Real Couple Behind Before Sunrise’ by Forrest Wickman, a Slate staff writer.  

He reveals that the girl Linklater met one night was Amy Lehrhaupt. He mentions, “Almost 25 years ago, Lehrhaupt met a young man named Richard Linklater and spent a night with him that he never forgot. Their encounter inspired Linklater to conceive and direct Before Sunrise, the first film in the series. She never saw it, though; unbeknownst to Linklater, by the time that movie came out, Lehrhaupt was dead.”

Now isn’t that sad!

The encounter, the wonderful time they shared and rest of the story is mentioned in his article. If you are interested you may read through this link. http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2013/05/30/before_sunrise_inspiration_before_midnight_is_dedicated_to_amy_lehrhaupt.html

Well, it may be just a movie but I guess I related to it so much only because my romanticism of connection between two was so close to it. 

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Are you Indispensable?

Ode to the Indispensable

Sometime, When you’re feeling important
Sometime, When your ego’s in bloom
Sometime, When you take it for granted
That you’re the best qualified in the room
Sometime, When you feel that your going
would leave an unfillable hole
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how it humbles your soul
Take a bucket and fill it with water
Put your hand in it up to the wrist
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining
Is the measure of how you’ll be missed.
The moral in this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can
Be proud of yourself but remember
There’s no INDISPENSABLE HUMAN.

I read this on net a few years ago… and many of my life experiences strengthens this thought.
No one is indispensable.

One of my lady friends always had this feeling that she holds an important position in her family. Her kids, her husband, her finances everything revolved around her.
What would they do if I am not around??? I could only answer her, “things will move on”. I knew it was hurting for her to hear that but that’s the reality!!!

Finally, she came face to face with what she thought was impossible. She was not Indispensable! The unsuspecting back sprain and later a surgery around the same became a reason for her to be away from her family for long four months…

Things moved on, the laid back husband caught up, kids became more responsible. They would cook on their own. Pack lunch for themselves…All this didn’t change in a day’s but it sure did change.

The reality is that no one is indispensable…however important you may be at a given point in time.

I remember Ogden Nash here,

You may splash all you please when you enter
You can stir up the water galore
But stop and you’ll find in a minute
That it looks quite the same as before.

🙂

Love, Sex and Assumptions

I was always deeply impressed by Susan Sontag’s writing. She was an American writer and filmmaker, professor, literary icon, and political activist. One of the most celebrated minds of the last century, who spent decades contemplating love and being discombobulated over sex, zooms in with her characteristic precision on our culture’s impossible expectations of the relationship between the two. I read these recently again and had to, just had to share in my blog-space.
“We ask everything of love. We ask it to be anarchic. We ask it to be the glue that holds the family together, that allows society to be orderly and allows all kinds of material processes to be transmitted from one generation to another. But I think that the connection between love and sex is very mysterious. Part of the modern ideology of love is to assume that love and sex always go together. They can, I suppose, but I think rather to the detriment of either one or the other. And probably the greatest problem for human beings is that they just don’t. And why do people want to be in love? That’s really interesting. Partly, they want to be in love the way you want to go on a roller coaster again — even knowing you’re going to have your heart broken. What fascinates me about love is what it has to do with all the cultural expectations and the values that have been put into it. I’ve always been amazed by the people who say, “I fell in love, I was madly, passionately in love, and I had this affair.” And then a lot of stuff is described and you ask, “How long did it last?” And the person will say, “A week, I just couldn’t stand him or her.”
She also mentions the toxic age-related stereotypes and polarities to which we subscribe as a culture, to which she points as the root of our unease about love:
“Our ideas of love are terribly bound up in our ambivalence about these two conditions — the positive and negative valuations of childhood, the positive and negative valuations of adulthood. And I think that, for many people, love signifies a return to values that are represented by childhood and that seem censored by the dried-up, mechanized, adult kinds of coercions of work and rules and responsibilities and impersonality. I mean, love is sensuality and play and irresponsibility and hedonism and being silly, and it gets to be thought of in terms of dependence and becoming weaker and getting into some kind of emotional slavery and treating the loved one as some kind of parent figure or sibling. You reproduce a part of what you were as a child when you weren’t free and were completely dependent on your parents, particularly your mother.”