Why is a book store still so enchanting for a person like me who has a turned a non-reader a decade back? I can spend a whole day in here gaping at them…and strolling in circles!
It’s a re-validated realization that there is no mid way in a relationship. Either you are in it or out of it. For those who redefine it or hang in are only being pretentious or appeasing. It takes mettle to get out of that state and make a choice.
The19th century came in with the realization that women empowerment was necessary and that the liberation of women lies in their economic empowerment. The more familiar term ‘Feminism’ was a trend then. With more and more women educating themselves and finding job, the world was witnessing a change…
Inception of ‘feminism’ was with the idea that basic human rights should be given to women. I must say that feminist movement had a very noble thought behind it. It was to break free from the chains of inhuman treatment women were subjected to in the past. This movement helped a lot, things changed for better. Results…emphasis on educating girl child, employment opportunities, fair salaries, place in the government, fairer laws…basically equality! But as we turn to we turn to the dawn of a new century… has aggressive feminism, especially in the economic empowerment front cost us women heavy?
Now, we all know that every creation is product of 50 and 50. Pay attention to the ‘50 and 50’. That means, a man and a woman contribute equally to the nature…they are equal. So, who made it look all so unequal and unfair? Yes, we humans! According to nature, neither man nor woman is less important. Nature never made it that way… however, by the sheer way human beings were crafted certain benefits were bestowed upon the masterpieces owing to the features they possessed.
Man among the masterpieces was made physically superior, bestowed with the ability to take risk. This form had to have physical and mental features to help him accomplish what he was meant for…He was made tall and strong. He had to be individualistic, aggressive, authoritative and relied on rational thought… His job primarily was to provide and protect. The other form, woman, was defined to do the rest half of the job. She was to nurture and bring forth. This form had to have features which would help her bear, rear and care. Her mind and body was suited for those purposes. She was social, subtle, compassionate and strong at heart. My opinion on characteristics of a typical man and woman may be generalizations, of course, but they are fairly obvious.
Coming to the discrimination part…I will not be wrong to say that subtlety, which is a feminine character can be misinterpreted as weakness, which did happen. Over years, the physically stronger form took lead and became dominant. Dominance lead to all that we may term as abuse, ill treatment, harassment, oppression! Feminist movement was to change this…it was to break the male breadwinner and female homemaker idea. Women took the toil to prove themselves in the world of man by doing things which he was meant for; because doing things which she was meant for was never valued. There was this ‘necessity to prove’ … Well, we proved and proved well but now that we have proved there is another wave of modern oppression which is leading women into proving more…
In the run of ‘rubbing shoulders’ with men, like in the corporate world which I can speak of, the educated working women are getting clogged down in the vicious circle of meeting up with expectations, again, defined by us… So, have we become empowered or have we bestowed ourselves with unnecessary tribulations which are associated with modern jobs requiring women to spend stressful days at work and alongside managing household trying to be the best mother and best everything else… Are women killing themselves trying to ‘rub shoulders with men’? Why do we have to rub shoulders, when we are already equal? What the modern woman is doing to herself today is killing her feminine character trying to be right there on top of everything. As a result, increased heart attacks, hormonal imbalance, reproductive issues, aggressive behavior towards children, abusive lifestyle to cope up with stress…the list is endless. Giving way to classic modern female oppression!
The reality: Men and women are completely different, but they were made as equals. Modernization has pushed woman to go beyond what she was just meant ‘to do’. It has not however got the men pushing beyond. Modern feminism should focus on “men”. It should promote men to partake in all the activities which were once exclusive for women. Both men and women must realize their respective equal roles and complement each other.
Woman has been the most beautiful creation of God, the epitome of evolutionary success by the mere creation she is. Lady, don’t let modern female oppression kill you!
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I came across a news article in the morning; a very popular celebrity couple announced that they are separating. It is a 10 year long marriage which they are about to break. The couple said in a joint statement that they were to “consciously uncouple”.
Is it a new terminology or an awakened new age? Does that sound like break up? Is it a nicer way of saying that we mutually consent into divorce? Well, all that is debatable. In whichever way it may come or whatever you call it, one can agree to that fact that it is ‘separation’ and ‘separations are painful’.
I hope ‘conscious uncoupling’ does not become another murmur word and gets misinterpreted further on from here. Now that the word has appeared in all glam glitz news walls, I fear that.
I wouldn’t call it another word for divorce or break up. According to me, it’s a concept or a pact between two individuals. When two individuals in a relationship see themselves as non meeting parallel lines, it is best for them that they move out and probably move on. It is that stage in a relationship when you make a conscious decision that you and your partner can be on their own, being still completely in love with each other but yet separate; uncoupled. This helps them still share mutual respect for each other, or sometimes get back.
This is not true for marriages alone. Let’s accept that genuine connections with another individual can develop anytime in our lives. Some progress to friendship, some deeper than that. You may call them affairs or flings in a more casual way, but if they are based on connections between souls it is delightful and those involved are a couple. Obviously then, there is conscious coupling and conscious uncoupling.
There can be cases where this realization comes into one of the two and he/she initiates the communication with other. The other may not be in a position to reciprocate with equal consciousness. The probable reasons for the other to not rise to that level of realization may be extreme dependence, fear of loss or diffidence. Blame, hurt, debate, will be all a part of this process because separations are heartbreaking and nerve wrecking; but, a little time and self talk makes you realize that separation can bring much more control in a relationship and help retain love and respect which otherwise could have been ruined and left scars.
Let me tell you this, if conscious uncoupling is made catalyst to turn the emotional pain into something constructive then that is the best thing one can do for themselves. I want to specifically mention this to all my likes out there, as most of the times the ‘other’ is the ‘woman’. Again, this is no blame dear man, just an observation. There are many reasons to it which I would want to bring in here. That’s a scope for another blog, just on that topic.
So woman, if you have lately undergone separation or have been shown the path of conscious uncoupling you must use your pain to create or explore something totally new about yourself. You will be glad you did. You may also regain respect and love for your ex-connect.
Because I am a woman, I will only be able to do justice writing how a woman feels at any given situation and how she would react. So, most of my blogs will be women centric. They will surround my lady friend’s and my experiences of life. All of them are my honest opinions. Things which I think are right or thought are right at that point in time.
I assume these will be visited more often my men, given the tile I am a Woman.The reasons are obvious and naturally so. It’s healthy. So, let me start with a note on one of the the most basic human acts, something which women easily do.
Trust is a social construct. A certain base on which all the relationships grow. It is an emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities and insecurities to someone, but believing someone will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both.
We women trust easily as most of us are security seeking. When we trust men, we allow them to penetrate into us both emotionally and sometimes physically. However, most of the times the quick built trust bring deepest heartaches.
When a woman says “I trust you” she actually means I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature. I trust you, because I think that you will love me forever the way you did when you made love to me for the first time.
The soul in you is as that of the black-hole in universe.